Codependency is a relational pattern in which a person's emotional well-being is excessively centered on controlling, caring for, or "fixing" another, generally at their own expense. The codependent person systematically places others' needs above their own, often confusing love with fusion and self-care with selfishness.
Concept origin
The term emerged from the Alcoholics Anonymous movement in the 1970s to describe family dynamics around addiction. Melody Beattie (1987) popularized it in "Codependent No More." Contemporary psychology links it to anxious attachment styles and families where the child's emotional needs were not met.
How it manifests
- ▸ Difficulty setting limits without feeling intense guilt
- ▸ Own emotional well-being conditioned on the other's state
- ▸ Compulsive need to control or rescue the partner or family member
Therapeutic approach
Therapeutic work in codependency includes identifying one's own emotional needs (often dissociated), learning to hold limits with self-compassion, and building an identity that does not depend on another's approval or state. Al-Anon groups and individual therapy are validated approaches.
Related concepts
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