Emotional dependency is an excessive, disproportionate need for the other's approval, presence, and affection, which turns the relationship into the main source of identity and well-being. The dependent person feels they cannot function without the other, tolerates mistreatment to avoid losing the relationship, and builds their life around maintaining it at any cost.
Concept origin
Jorge Castelló (2005) systematized it in the Spanish-speaking context, differentiating it from codependency. From attachment theory, it corresponds to an extreme version of anxious-ambivalent attachment. The DSM does not categorize it as an independent disorder, but Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) shares its core with its more severe forms.
How it manifests
- ▸ Intense fear of breakup or abandonment, even when the relationship is harmful
- ▸ Loss of sense of identity outside the relationship
- ▸ Tolerating mistreatment or neglect to maintain the bond
Therapeutic approach
Therapeutic work builds personal identity outside the relationship: identifying personal values, cultivating alternative bonds, and learning to tolerate separation distress without fleeing from it. Behavioral activation outside the relationship is a central part of the process.
Related concepts
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