Bond loss in breakup is the disintegration of the attachment system activated with the partner. People with anxious attachment experience the breakup with intense pain, hypervigilance, and constant search. Those with avoidant attachment may appear indifferent while internally deactivating the system.
Concept origin
Bowlby J. (1980). Attachment and loss: Vol. 3. Loss, sadness, and depression. Basic Books. · Mikulincer M, Shaver PR. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. Guilford Press.
How it manifests
- ▸ Attachment system activation (search for proximity)
- ▸ Hypervigilance to signals of ex-partner
- ▸ Deep sadness for the absence
Therapeutic approach
Schema therapy works on the activated attachment modes. CBT helps identify and restructure beliefs about the loss. Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) softens the self-criticism that usually appears after the breakup.
Related concepts
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