The no-contact rule is a post-breakup recovery strategy that consists of cutting all communication with the ex-partner for a minimum period of 30-90 days. Evidence shows it reduces rumination, accelerates emotional recovery, and facilitates psychological detachment.
Concept origin
Brumbaugh CC, Fraley RC. (2015). Too fast, too soon? An empirical investigation of rebound relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 32(1), 99-118. doi:10.1177/0265407514525084 · Sbarra DA, Law MK, Portley RM. (2011). Divorce and death: A case study of the onset and progression of depression. Personal Relationships, 18(3), 367-385. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2011.01373.x
How it manifests
- ▸ Difficulty maintaining no-contact
- ▸ Search for excuses to see ex-partner
- ▸ Intense activation upon notifications
Therapeutic approach
CBT works on contact impulses by identifying automatic thoughts ("I just want to know how she is") and restructuring them. The rule is complemented by elimination of social networks, return of objects, and active search for social support.
Related concepts
Want to put this into practice with concrete tools?
Explore resources →This content is informational and does not replace consultation with a mental health professional. If you are going through a difficult time, speaking with a specialist can make a real difference.