Two tools for today — before the next peak

The first helps you locate which phase of the cycle you get stuck in — because each phase asks for a different intervention. The second is for use in the moment: you register how high the temperature is right now, tick the body signals that already showed up, and a three-step plan adapted to that zone appears. Neither replaces a professional. Both are free and work right here.

This is not a diagnosis. What follows is information and practical tools. If the anger is affecting your sleep, your work, or your close relationships — or thoughts of harming yourself appear — crisis lines are below, 24/7.

Clinical tool 1 of 2

Anger cycle map — where do you get stuck?

Four phases, two markers per phase. Tick which ones have been showing up in your last two weeks. The reading shows which lever you are not pulling yet — because each phase asks for a different intervention.

Phase D · Detonation and escalation

I snapped or raised my voice at something I knew, in cold mode, was small (a comment, a delay, a gesture). Between the provocation and my response there was almost no gap — I spoke or texted before I could think.

Phase E · Explosion and damage

I said or did something I regretted within an hour (a shout, a sharp message, a door slammed too hard). People close to me stepped back, avoided telling me something, or measured their words when I was around.

Phase R · Rumination and tension

After a trigger I kept replaying the scene — what was said, what I should have said, what I will do if I see them again — for hours or days. I carry constant physical tension — jaw, shoulders, chest — even with no trigger around.

Phase C · Guilt and broken promise

After the outburst came a wave of shame or wanting to disappear that lasted hours or more. I promised myself "I will not lose it again" — and the next week it happened again, and again.

This is NOT a validated clinical scale. It is a map to locate where the cycle jams: fast detonation, short escalation, explosion or prolonged rumination, and the guilt that closes the "not again" promise. If three or more phases come up active and the cycle is repeating with real damage — people pulling away, shame that does not lift — crisis lines and the therapy bridge are below.

Two minutes. Re-measure in two weeks — comparing two moments is more informative than a single pass.

Practical tool 2 of 2

Detonation thermometer + exit plan

A slider to register how much heat you are feeling right now, six early body-warning signals to learn to recognize, and a personalized three-step plan depending on the zone you are in. Designed to use in the moment — before answering, before writing, before walking out the door.

Important: If the temperature you registered is high and you also ticked several body signals active, the body is entering explosion mode. The plan you are about to see does not try to convince you of anything: it proposes a minimum viable pause before acting. If pausing feels impossible, that is also information — and crisis lines are below, 24/7.

How much heat you are feeling right now (0 = calm, 10 = about to explode)

0 · calm 3 10 · about to explode

Which of these early body-warning signals are showing up right now?

Jaw clenched or teeth together without noticing Shoulders raised toward the ears or neck tightening Short breathing, tight chest, sense of not getting enough air Voice going up in tone before I decide it should Hands closing, gripping things harder than needed Tight stomach, heat in the chest, or a sense that something is about to happen

Evidence: The research (Sukhodolsky/Golub/Cromwell 2001; Beck/Fernandez 1998; Borders 2020) converges on the same point: anger regulation happens in the detonation phase, not at the peak. When the body enters explosion mode the prefrontal cortex goes offline — willpower in the moment no longer decides. What gets learned is to notice the early signal and move the body before the system accelerates on its own.

If you feel the cycle keeps repeating despite the attempts — especially if the anger is shaping decisions about work, relationships, or health — talking with a trained professional may be the next step.

Find professional help

By rdkterapia · No spam · Unsubscribe anytime

When to seek professional help

This is information, not diagnosis. If any of these signs show up in your life right now, talking to someone trained matters more than reading further.

Thoughts of hurting yourself or that life isn't worth continuing
Weeks without sleeping, eating or getting out of bed
Avoiding people, work or places that used to matter
Using alcohol or substances to not feel what you feel

Crisis lines and resources

Colombia: Line 123 — emergencies (free, 24/7)
Colombia: Line 106 — psychosocial orientation (free, 24/7)
USA: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — 24/7
UK: Samaritans — call 116 123 anytime
Canada: 1-833-456-4566 (Canada Suicide Prevention Service) — 24/7, also 9-8-8
Australia: Lifeline 13 11 14
Global: findahelpline.com — global directory

Talking to a professional

It's not weakness, nor a last resort. It's the same as seeing a doctor when your body hurts too long. Cognitive behavioral therapy, EMDR, humanistic therapy — all have evidence. The first therapist isn't always the right one. It's ok to try another.

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